Battle: Los Angeles review by Adam Truscott

Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Ramon Rodriguez, Cory Hardrict

The One Where Battle Los Angeles Deserves Some Love

I remember when I first saw the full trailer for Battle Los Angeles. I looked at my fellow cinema buddies, and we high fived, and maybe had a manly cuddle. It was like a film had been made after directly taking the ideas in our minds. I used to do movie reviews in my head as a mathematic equation. I stole the idea from somewhere, but forgot where, so eventually claimed it as my own. The Battle trailer went like this:

Black Hawk Down + Two Face – Stupid speeches from Presidents who can stupidly fly stupid planes x Michael Bay / Aliens % Skyline = Battle Los Angeles

Now, maths has never been my strong point. I’m pretty sure you’ll agree that all of that adds up, though. And so, with this mathematic equation, I go into the film expecting just that. Trying to ignore the reviews that I had seen, (32% on rotten tomatoes… WTF!), I had my own expectations.

That’s pretty key to this review, hence me labouring the point. I had, in my mind, exactly the way this film would pan out. I’d judge it later on how bad any of the “mis-steps” were, and whether they ruined the experience. I do the same with every film, which is why Sanctum > Drive Angry, and both of those are > Hereafter. What was in my head, was put up on the screen in those instances. If it didn’t live up to that expectation, (or equation), I’m inevitably disappointed.

Battle Los Angeles not only met my equation, it surpassed it.

Now Rob’s review helped here, for sure. He helped me dial it down from 11 in my mind, and with the way my expectations can get carried away, that was vital. The equation stayed the same, but instead of being in bold, it looked more like this:

Black Hawk Down + Two Face – Stupid speeches from Presidents who can stupidly fly stupid planes x Michael Bay / Aliens % Skyline = Battle Los Angeles

The boldness just indicates that my expectations had been dampened a little bit. And rightly so. Some of the script is awful. And, as much as I hope Thor nails it, it was similar in the sense it’s all played straight. For the action scenes that works brilliantly. I literally couldn’t believe how far they took the slant of doing a modern war movie (Black Hawk Down!), and just put Alienes in there instead of the Taliban.

When a Marine (John? James? Joey? Whatever. Despite the title card each Marine gets, you won’t care/keep track (Michael Bay!)), becomes a “suicide bomber”, by blowing up a bus… Well, it’s very close to home. And it’s what instantly elevates it up from Independance Day for me. This is a war movie, with shaky cam and all. We are right in the heart of the action. Some scenes hint at the wider scale, (LOVED the credits coming up over a shot of LA… burning). But this is very much set as an intimate war movie. Follwing those Marines (Aliens!), as they try to get to their F.O.B (I have no idea what that stands for… but guess what? It gets a title card, too!).

And that may be it’s mis-step for some. Intimate scenes. Kissing your pregnant wife goodbye. Getting married. Buying flowers. It didn’t bother me, but the idea that the film makers thought we would be in tears when it all goes south… Well, I think they took all of that too seriously. They had too, of course. The action, (LOUD, short sharp bursts, machine gun fire all over the place, tightly shot), needs all of those bits to work. It’s just a shame the acting wasn’t all up to Eckharts (Two Face!) standards. Again, for me, it got by in spite of that.

I’m going again at the weekend. The shot on the poster? That needs to be seen on the big screen. It’s visually spectacular, and for playing it straight, and literallty making Black Hawk Down versus aliens, I applaud them.

The mis-steps I was expecting, like hating the aliens (I did from the glimpses in the trailer), never happened. Instead, I loved the design. the alien ships, with their little throttle bursts burning cars, were brilliant. The aliens themselves were good enough – despite leading to the soon to be line, “I can help. I’m a Veterinarian”, and they were more than a worthy adversary.

The ending is a tease, but like all teases, worth the chase in the end.

I’m really pleased they didn’t balls this up.

Go in expecting a gun fight, and one of those scripts that aims for Shakespeare but gets closer to Home And Away and you’ll be fine.

Battle Los Angeles = Great fun. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now… Can anyone help me with my Maths homework?