The outpourings of a brain trying to forget what day it is. Live For Films accepts no responsibility for the nonsense contained within…
I’m not really sure what can be said about this. Other than that over the last few days, I have endeavoured to watch every Hellraiser film ever made. Yes, including the last monstrosity, which should never have been allowed to walk this earth. I’m sure if there exists a hell, for me it may be lifted from the plotline of the rather surprising - and very enjoyable - fifth outing, and involve being strapped to a chair whilst “Revelations” plays on a loop…until the end of time. Jesus wept, indeed.
This constant submersion in all things “Cenobitian” has, eh, resulted in the following fruit-foolery. Behold, ladies and gents, for I bring ye explorers in the further realms of the fruit bowl.
"The box. You opened it. We came."
Oh yes. The Satsuma Cenobites. Those sexy, citrus deviants.
"I thought I'd gone to the limits. I hadn't. The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits... pain and pleasure, indivisible."
"No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering."
Demons to some, Angels to others eh?
"What is your pleasure, sir?"
"THIS ISN'T FOR YOUR EYES!"
"You'll help me, won't you?...we can be together! Come here, damn you! I want to touch you!"
"We have SUCH SIGHTS to show you!"
That poor bastard…
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!!"
Mmm…tasty. Chorizo Frank went down a storm in last night’s chilli.
Skinless sausage fitted perfectly for the bleeding and decayed body of post-box Mr Cotton, but finding something suitable for the ‘pre-pinhead plaything’ brooding intensity of brother Frank proved a little more difficult.
No fruit, nor vegetable could quite capture the smouldering sex-pest qualities of that particular ‘hot potato’ without at least five hours in a very hot oven. We tried. We really did. But the smoke alarm went off seven times, and the camera lens shattered when faced with such a display of pure, unbridled manliness in a Lovejoy jacket.
Frank Cotton. Smouldering in a doorway...
Oh! Don’t you “come to Daddy” me, you beast…
"Well I won't be opening you again in a hurry, ya bastarding thing."
Yes, Frank. Do not trust ‘toys’ that you can’t buy from a reputable dealer.
"Jesus wept."
Satsuma Cenobites can be seen in full on Flickr.
