Remember those awkward moments, (normally at Christmas), when you yell at your Parents:
“But I wanted the WWF wrestling ring, you idiots. Not the WCW one. How could you get that wrong? Idiots. I’ve been nothing but loyal to you!”
Then, it turns out the WCW ring is better. Or worse. They had got you both.
I had one of those moments t’other day. On hearing Screener copies of Drive were doing the rounds, I went (in the words of John Woo, and the underrated Broken Arrow) BALLASTIC. Ballistic at Phil, (leader of this here cult). Ballistic at his Family. Ballistic at his silly beard.
I said terrible, terrible things.
Then, he replied:
“Check your emails. (It was a tweet, but you could sense he’d been crying. Let down (again) by his fiery, sweaty protegé).”
And be hold, he had arranged it to be sent as a surprise. Given my address out and everything. (Lets hope they’re not Bateman psycho’s).
I felt small. Angry at myself. Like I wanted to get in a lift, kiss Phil, (as an apology), then stomp my own head in.
But I was given a reprieve. The Chairman, (as he likes to be called), replied:
“All I ask, Adam, is that you review the Blu Ray/DVD release of Drive (out January 30th, kids!). And try not to swear as much as normal. Or just repeat that it has the coolest soundtrack of 2011 (ever?). Or just ramble. Or, you know, make up conversations between us.”
What can you say about Drive, that hasn’t been said, I pondered?
Unlike Tinker Tailor, or other 5* ladened reviewed films, I wasn’t turned off. That’s a good place to start, as my inherent hatred for anything overrated, (or what I perceive to be overrated), has already led me to lose friends and be alienated over my hatred of Shawshank Redemption. So, why not with Drive?
Well, for a start, the pacing is brilliant. When, after about 7 minutes, we get the Night Call credit sequence – we’ve already had a breathlessly tense car chase, and Gosling nailing the lone wolf act. I used Mrs T for a barometer of a “neutrals” enjoyment of Drive, and she totally got it.
She was humming Night Call. Laughed nervously as she realised it wasn’t a freeze frame of Gosling as the title card came up, more a strange, out of sync shot of him driving. More nervous giggles as she realised that the song itself is ominous. Eerie, meaning it may sit better in a horror film. Little did she know.
Of course, having seen it before, I knew there was nastiness to come, so I prepared her, as any loving husband would.
“I can’t lie. In an hour or so, Gosling is going to go a bit psychotic. They’ll be a bit where he’s drenched in blood, Patrick Bateman style, and looks unhinged. He may shot-gun someone in the face – like To Live And Die In L.A, another film I’ll make you watch soon, because it shaped my childhood. Then, he’ll later stomp on a guys face until it’s not there anymore. You’ll know it’s not there as Refn will show you.”
I told her this after the Real Hero montage, which for me, is where people will either fall in love with Drive, or wonder what the Hell is going on. The lighting, song, longing gazes. Well, it can be too much for someone with a heart of stone, and no sense of cool, and, incredibly, they switch off. They don’t connect. They don’t even notice that Ryan Gosling can SKIM STONES!
I connect every time. I have a 4 y/o. I called him Ethan, but a part of me wishes he was called Benicio. Whenever I carry him, especially when he’s asleep, I imagine a Real Hero playing. Also, I’m walking in slow motion, with a scorpion jacket. Mrs T gazing at me, like I’m a hero. Creating a Hero Shot for myself in real life. Then, when Mrs T says she had a good time, I pretty much ignore her. Trying to be cool, and imagining that in many ways, I look more like Ryan Gosling. She even forgives me the frankly ludicrous scorpion jacket.
My point is, Drive is full of moments where you’d like to think you were as cool as Gosling, but realise you aren’t. If I thought so long and hard as the Driver, before saying barely two words, I’d never be heard. Mrs T would leave me for the deluxe edition, and I’d get into some trouble in the San Fernando Valley with petty crims. She’d rightly wonder what was going on behind my eyes. Wondering whether I’d just been in a scuffle. Maybe made a crook swallow a bullet. Literally.
Gosling is magnetic in this film. All year, or the latter half, I tried to convince people he was better in Blue Valentine, and Ides Of March. I still think Ides gets him an Oscar nod, but in reality, this is the best role of the year for him. Everything gravitates to him. The scenes I mention, where he goes psycho, (“How bout this”), are brilliant. So much so, I’m not sure many will pick up on how unhinged he actually is. He’s Patrick Batemans brother, for me. A chequered history, (as glimpsed when someone recognises him). Driving from town to town, or valley to valley. Taking hot Mums for a drive down a storm pipe (easy). He’s definitely got more going on behind his eyes than Refn will ever tell us. An insomniac. A wanderer. Someone who wants tp settle in. A psycho.
“How about this… From now on, every word out of your mouth will be the truth… or I’m going to hurt you”. Just brilliant dialogue. It’s how all Heroes should be portrayed for me. The world has changed. I don’t want Bruce Willis in a vest, anymore. I want someone who put driving gloves on, menacingly looking the door. Making me think he could go nuts at any moment. And then, in the moments when I really think that, he does nothing at all. Which, in its own way, is even more menacing.
The whole audience member suing because she was expecting Fast Five is my favourite Drive story. What an idiot. Was she not watching the chase through the valley, that screams FUCK FAST FIVE on every level?
Drive moves, (shifts gears?), seamlessly between a car chase movie, to a date movie. A crime ballad, culminating in a stab at the horror genre.
When Gosling dons his movie mask, so he can move incognito, Drive even manages to out Halloween Mike Myers. And then, and only then, do you realise that this film has everything.
I hate to be the one to say no extras were present – but you aint buying this Jan 30th for the extras. Refn has already said there is a fully loaded version they would like to do. But can you wait a year for that? I’m disappointed if you can. Get it now. You get nice menus, (with the soundtrack, of course. Trailers. TV spots. An art gallery, (brief but fascinating – has any movie ever created so much cool art work in such a short time?)
Plus you get a Q&A with Refn, which is arguably worth the price on its own. Brief, but only because you want him to keep talking. You immediately see where the Driver gets his pauses from. You see him get asked a question, pause for an eternity, then answer, “I can’t elaborate”. Then more awkward silence. The more you hear him speak, referencing Walter Hill, but sadly not To Live And Die In L.A, the more you like him.
Oh, and his opening line is pure gold.
“Before we start, I’d like to apologise for saying “Fuck” on the BBC News this morning, at 8AM”.
No shit.
