For possibly the first time, Mike and myself are at odds here at LFF Towers.
To settle it once and for all, we are both going to review War Horse for LFF. Then, on the comments section, you can join me to bash his cold, cold heart.
Here is my take, explaining why I think War Horse is the first 5* movie of 2012…
For contexts sake, you should know I love Spielberg. That said, he’s not untouchable. Some of the films he’s done leave me cold. Some classics, too – not just 1941. I normally have a feel for what I’ll like, or not like, then adjust my expectations accordingly. Catch Me If You Can, I got wrong. That was when I realised Di Caprio was special. Minority Report? Expectations were sky-high, and I got it right. For me.
War Horse was a, “I’ll go and see it on a rainy day, but… meh”. There was no getting me up for it. A bit like Tin Tin, then.
The trailers looked schmaltzy. The whole thing just looked very… worthy. And I hate that. Anything more bothered about appealing to the Oscars than an audience leaves me cold, and at a distance. Still, the opportunity arrived through the Queen of grabbing screener tickets – so I went.
Imagine my surprise when, maybe ten minutes in, I was entranced. When I say entranced, I mean well and truly sucked into the Devonshire world in the 1910′s that Spielberg had created. I wasn’t sure whether it was the sight of SS filming in the UK. Places that almost seemed recognisable, (less buildings and tons of cars and pollution, obviously). It was definitely a bit of that. More likely, though, I was buying into the whole idea of following this horse for 2 (plus) hours.
The score wasn’t as jarring as I had heard, and the talking to animals bit that should have really bothered me?
Well, it didn’t bother me at all.
All that being well, it’s important to remember that War Horse has well and truly left itself open to parody. And Mike may nail it to the cross for it. (Or maybe make it wear a crown of thorns – see that I did, there?)
Maybe its the lead, (I’m not even going to IMDB him, I shan’t be following his career), and his far-mer accent. Maybe its the lengthy scenes of him breaking Joey in. Joey is the horse, by the way. I know! He names the horse. Brilliant. *descends into playground bullying of War Horse*
Apologies. I lost myself there. I forgot I was 30 years old.
So, as you can see, there is a huge dilemma with this film. Part of me should be throwing pelters at it. Huge bricks, with crude insults attached. I picture Mike and I, giggling like school girls – trying to do the best Joey impression. Throwing insults at a once great Spielberg… Like maybe,
“FU, Spielberg… Why not have the Horse talk?? What is this… Twilight 4.o?”
Or
“Hey, FU Spielberg… what is this… Forrest Gump for Horses? Theres no way this story really happened in real life!”
But I can’t bring myself to.
I don’t want to.
And I think, more than anything, that’s because on Christmas Day next year, I’ll sit there and watch it with the Family. Ethan may be a bit young, but there’s a “nice” WW1 History lesson in there. Plus Mrs T’s Family love horses. So its win-win. Plus, and this is the crucial bit, it’s a brilliantly crafted film.
Save the Return Of The King multiple endings, (got back just in time for Football. Lucky.), the film is pretty tight. And this is what surprised me more than anything. I expected pondering. Labouring shots of fields. (There’s a few in the opening credits, to be fair). I don’t know the story/play. I had NO idea where the story would go. And, I can’t remember the last time I can say that. I knew nothing. Apart from the fact I’d probably cry man tears at the end, even if the bloody horse lived.
I’m taking a stab in the dark that all the bits I “forgave” War Horse for, are what Mike will tear it apart, for. To be fair, it’s not the sort of film you can “force” on someone. If they don’t like it, there’s no middle ground. It’s Spielberg. It’s got a bombastic score. It’s shot beautifully, and shots linger for a long, long time. That’s not for everyone, but it would take a cold-hearted person to not get emotionally attached.
Not necessarily at the scenes you would expect, either.
In one scene, where I’m sure the score was wanting me to well up, (it got all schmaltzy and LOUD), I disconnected. With out ruining the scene, the lead character (at the time), is kept on the periphery. I’m sure, as it happened prior, too, that was consciously done by SS. The acting wasn’t quite there for the lad to carry the scene. There were scenes that arguably had Joey out acting him. A little harsh maybe, and if he grows up to be the next Bale, I’ll humbly apologise.
The lead character bit was really interesting for me. It makes War Horse a Pulp Fiction of the WW1 genre. Jumping from one story to the next, with strands and themes staying the same. I loved that. There weren’t many characters I hated, which helps, and there were plenty I loved. Tom Hiddleton showed me what all the fuss is about, and Peter Mullan and Emily Watson are gold.
Emily Watson steals the movie, in fact. So many of her lines set her up as the matriarch of that family, that the dynamics of what follows, and those final shots are even more poignant. I find it hard when a film is acted so well, to not put myself in that position. Here, in the finale – a rousing set piece in No Mans Land, I just kept shaking my head.
SS nails that final third. All of the build up. All of the coincidences to get things in place, for any sort of pay off, are masterfully done. And, in amongst it, SS gets an unforgettable scene between a Geordie and a German, that plays out beautifully. Such is the nature of the film, I guess.
Its going to depend an awful lot on how much you’ll open your heart to this film – but if you do, and you leave your cynicism at the door, you should have a great time.
What a start to 2012. But from the most prolific Director ever… should we expect anything else?
Over to you, Michael – you cold-hearted son of a bitch. 
From the bottom up, Mike shows what a callous, heartless boy he is…
