AKA The One Where Justin Lin Tries To Spread His ADHD Like A Viral Plague From the sublime, to the ridiculous. And, yes, I had it coming. But, in my defence, Fast Five made me think I’d be getting something more. Fast Five being easily the most demented action film of the last five years. Ludicrous. I watched it last night as “homework”,...

Oh, Leo. You’ve done it again, old sport. I remember when you acted Johnny Depp off the screen aged five (ish). I remember when I hoped you’d show a dark side, and work with my favourite Director. And, true to form, you saw it as a trick question and worked with both of them. Scorsese, check. Tarantino, check. Then, when I worried you’d...

The One Where I’m Gay For Farrell. And Hot For Noomi. And Generally A Bit Confused. But Not About My Love For Dead Man Down. For My Love Is True. Every once in a while you go and see a film that is nothing like you expected. Think about it. You saw the trailer. You know who’s in it, then…. Wha-? It goes right, left, anywhere but central....

The One Where I Call JJ A Magnificent Bastard Oh, JJ. You magnificent bastard. Star Trek: Into Darkness is a wonderful film. Huge in scope, with plenty of character building too. I just loved it. Now, I know you’ll have read that a lot recently, so (as ever), I’ll try to find a point of difference. And for me, it’s that I’m watching...

Screeners. I bloody love them. I remember Phil sending me these beauties… Dragon Storm! Diamonds Of Metro Valley! And of course, Denizen! Good times. Cutting my teeth. Being a boot boy to Philip. His bitch, basically. Watching terrible, god-awful films. Just so I could write on my favourite web-site. “Stick with it, and I’ll let you write...

Right, now the serious stuff is out-of-the-way (The Place Beyond The Pines is a flawed masterpiece), let’s get silly. And, whilst we do, lets ask ourselves if there’s anything sillier than going to a deserted log cabin. Even if you do have a smart work around, (getting isolated to help a friend go cold turkey). There’s very little excuse...

Pines is a brilliant, sprawling film. It’s flawed and overly long, too. I absolutely loved it. The more I think about it, the better it gets. And, despite being Gay For Gosling, I know it has nothing to do with that. This isn’t like Drive. It’s not instantly accessible. As a result, it won’t get the praise that film got. It’s a...

Somewhere, on a bed of money, Neill Blomkamp sits weeping. On the day he releases a trailer of beauty to mere mortals, Tom Cruise is at it again. Knocking it out of the park. A beautifuly rendered park, too. Half nuke-destruction. Half living above the clouds. And that’s about all I can say. Seriously. For someone (me) that was bashing the trailer as a...

The One Where Crowe Says “Look Up, Look Up, I’ll Never Sing Again”. Right, it’s 9:30 PM. Picture the scene. You’ve just watched the majestic, erotic masterpiece that is Stoker. (Read about that HERE). You can go Home to an empty house or stick around and see another film. But your mind plays tricks. Why bother? What’s...

The One Where “It Is Going To Rain Out There”. Saying a film “blew me away” is a bold statement. I got emails immediately from the Chairman (AKA Philip Edwards). I ignored them. Then the phone calls came. Imploring me to explain. Elaborate. Expand. “No, Philip”, I said. “I’m busy watching Russell Crowe redeem...